My granddaughter, Isabelle, was born unable to breathe on her own. Her mother delivered her by caesarian section, and Isabelle was rushed first to the hospital’s neonatal clinic, then transferred to one and then another more specialized neonatal clinics before her lungs were fully functioning. It was five weeks before Isabelle finally came home.
My husband and I were with Isabelle at the hospital as much as possible. We eagerly awaited the day that we were allowed to hold her. We waited patiently in the waiting room while the nurses and doctors kept her calm and quiet, hoping that her body would begin breathing without the machines keeping her alive.
When I finally got to hold her, she was still connected to many tubes and machines. I was nervous, but elated. Instinctively, I started to softly sing to her a song that would be ours – Frere Jacques. Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques, dorme vous? Dorme vous?
Music connects us. It communicates to others in ways that mere words cannot. Think of the emotions that a special song brings to you when you hear it unexpectedly on the radio. You can go back to the memories you have of other times when that song was played, and relive those feelings of love, security, and joy. This works for babies and young children effectively, to begin building those brain connections that lead to trusting, loving relationships.
Dr. Becky Bailey calls these moments, “I Love You Rituals.” Songs, poems, and nursery rhymes, when used as part of a regular routine, create meaningful connections between children and the adults in their lives.
That is why I sang to Isabelle that day and every day I see her. Parents, grandparents, and other family members can use music to create a special bond with a child, and this bond creates brain connections upon which all other learning will be based. It has an unexpected other positive effect as well – it reduces stress in the adult who is singing!
You can sing, share children’s music, or tap on an oatmeal box or pot with a wooden spoon together. Any type of music will do! If you would like to know more about the magic of music, check out ZerotoThree’s resource, Getting in Tune.
Families living in poverty may need our help to ensure each child in our community has the start she or he deserves. If you know of an expecting or new mother who may qualify for Early Head Start, or a preschooler who may quality for preschool, visit our website at www.firststartpartnerships.org for more information and to apply.
I look forward to sharing more with you about the early years in the coming months. In the meantime, love the babies in your life. Talk, sing and read to them. Hold them as long as they will let you. You will be making brain connections that will last a lifetime.
Dr. Annette Searfoss is the President & CEO at First Start Partnerships for Children and Families. First Start Partnerships currently provides early education for 671 children and their families across Franklin County.
